Testi-monials

	Orb owner Mary Q. Contrary, recently told our Field Reporter, Wanda O’Nasette, about her special delivery. "...And then, one day, my very own rocks arrived to me in their very own box!"   Ms. O’Nasette informed her, "Mary, quite contrary to what you may have always heard before, it is acceptable to handle these in public.” We at TLR consider Mary quite a visionary, so we asked for her insights.   "Merry Mary, Extra-orb-inary, how does your courage grow?" "When I handle the rocks, it gives me a quiet confidence that I can handle anything. I don't always have to take them out and show them. Sometimes, it's enough, just knowing I have them.”

Mary, Mary, Visionary.
Wasn't quite as bold as Larry.
She got some stones.
Now Larry moans.
He's a lot more wary of Mary.

CINDERELLA'S BALLS

Society Editor, Countess Hanna Mia D’Balsa, attended a benefit ball given by childhood's favorite Belle of the Balls, Cinderella. Her longtime supportive friend and confidante, F. Godmother, told us that Cinderella traded her sparkling slippers for a more practical pair of crystals. Now living happily ever after, she no longer waits by her princess phone for invitations. She is dancing more than ever now that she has beneficial balls of her own.

When the weight of your tasks is bringing you down,
You could use something extra under your gown.
Just summon up this princely pair.
These pumpkins will carry you, don't despair!

JILL CLIMBS CORPORATE HILL

Jack and Jill worked in a mill;
And Jack got promoted before her.
Said Jill to Jack, "I know what I lack,
They'll be here in three days, when I order.”

DOLLY MAMA SEEKS INNER PEACE

Travel Reporter M.R. Biggins recently walked with the famous Mama on her path to enlightenment.
The Mama imparted these words of wisdom:

“It's the courage a woman can hold in her hand.
And the fear that she releases.
Sometimes, one finds one's inner peace
By acquiring two outer pieces.”

Mary was a little lamb

They never recognized her

Till she got her Lady Rocks

Now they idolize her!

* HORMONES & SUPPLEMENTAL STONES *

Results of a new male hormone study reveal that a woman's testosterone level need not be an issue, when

TESS-HAST-HER-OWN.